Crossroads..

As I sit and think about the time Ive had in utah, I try and hold back the tears. The ups and downs that i have battled through because of my own self I will forever remember. I guess there comes a time in a persons life where there is no longer a decision that a person makes because they want to do something. No, it becomes a need to do something. With that being said for my health and well being I have submissively chose to move back to vegas. I have such a heartache because I have grown to love so many great people up here. They are few and far between,( what ever that really means) but I will miss my friends and family ( who are my best friends) dearly.

The people I can see every other month, that is a big part of the sadness that comes with moving back, but its also the feeling of failure in my part. I lived on my own, paid for pretty much everything on my own and made all of my own decisions. Going to school full time and working full time was one hard year, but i did it. I put my time in for instate tuition, and now that will be gone and a waste. If only I could give it to another individual that was doing the same thing as I did a couple years ago. But I feel like I have learned things I wouldn't otherwise learn living at home. Ive fought with the devil on many occasions battling with certain problems, and I've came out on top and am better because of it.

My brother Daniel, his wife maloree, and their son Ethan I will forever have memories of living so close to them. They have became my best friends through it all and the greatest examples that i have seen. I love them dearly and it will be big chunk out of my life not living so close to them. I loved the sundays over at their house and grandmas house, always felt welcome to anything I needed, and truly cherished the time I had with them and my nephew E. I pray that I will be able to make it up to Utah just to see E's face and to have him play with his uncle TIK TIK.

I loved the time I had with great friends, and I hated the time I felt used and traded by people. I have lost a lot of trust in people that I never would think I would lose. I have had friends and lost a lot of friends, and if i don't make an effort in trying to become a part of your life, well you know its you good riddance. But I thank my roommates and close friends for the times Ive needed them and always being there for me. I hope this next crossroad in my life will bring me joy and set me free from a lot of things I have been going though. I just pray I feel myself again.