this is me....

You probably don't know me very well, and if you do, you're probably wrong. but if you think so, good riddance....

This is ME…

My mother and father were very strong people growing up. They, like most people growing up didn’t have a lot of things, so they got by with what they could. They were neighbors as kids, and as they matured and grew older went to the same high school, and started to date. As my Father left on a mission for the LDS church my mother patiently waited. As he returned they were married in the St. George temple. You may wonder why I talk about my parents; I briefly talk about them because this is how I began. Without them, there was no me.

I am the third son out of 6 kids, with only one girl. As I was born we had just barely moved into a house that my father and grandfather built from the ground up. This is a major example of who I am today. My father taught me to work hard. It didn’t matter if it was mowing the lawn or building a house, the work ethic of my father was one I always wanted to carbon copy. There were countless times growing up; I would have plans on Saturday to go out exploring and riding bikes with my friends, but my father had different ideas. We needed to get things done for the week. My father once woke me up at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday, now being the only day to sleep in; this was my pride and joy. We had an eagle project to go help with. After this it was about noon, and this is when exhaustion hit. My father went back out into the yard and started mowing lawns pulling weeds, and working on the car. This is a prime example of what I truly want to become.

Another example of me; happened in my sophomore year in High school, it was in mid December, and I was in my chemistry class in High school. I distinctively remember the day, it was an unusually warmer day, but still had a chill in the air. We had just been given the assignment to do some worksheets; we were a very close class and I had friends all around me. We started messing around a bit and our teacher Mr. Richards yelled at us to get back to work, so with fear, we did. In the next seconds my life will change. I hear Cameron, as I look up a pencil is flying towards my eye. At an instance that felt like eternity I felt the pain go through my head and down to my toes. I closed my eye and it started bleeding; I, thinking it hit my eyelid assured everyone it was fine and I was okay; this was a real tough guy move. Finally my lab partner convinced me of going to the nurse’s office due to something floating in my eye. I rush down there and of course the nurse thinking it’s a piece of pencil asked me to try and get it out. I pinch at it a couple times and nothing happens. Then she calls my mom, as my head is throbbing in pain I realize I can’t see out of this eye. The next thing I remember was sitting in my close friends chair, that happen to be an optometrist. He began to tell me this was greater than him and I needed attention immediately. I saw an ophthalmologist and she demanded to have surgery that night. I recall telling my mother, that all I wanted was to see again, and have my vision back. The surgery went well from what I remember of it and the next day was the moment of truth. As I was driving down in the car I thought about this moment in time and how it will affect my life. What will happen, and will I ever be “normal” again. We get to the doctors and I sit down. The doctor begins to take the patch of my eye and I cried tears of joy because I could see my mother across the room.

Eventually after another surgery and countless doctor appointments, I was able to get contacts again, There are some side effects that I live with daily but nevertheless, I knew at that moment that I was one of the luckiest people alive. From then on, I have realized to never take anything for granted, work hard, have fun with life, and be yourself. This is my motto, and I’m striving to live by it everyday!

half_____?

Going to the gym and walking home at 10 oclock at night gives you time to think about where you are personally with yourself, others, and God. Do people individually feel alone? They may feel empty, alone, lost, and even forgotten; but the cure is self awareness. People feel these things because they believe they need other people to help them feel welcome. But can man or women live alone? is it good for them?

To me and myself Im at a place right now where im ok. Im not searching for a wife, cool friends to belittle me, or even crowds to welcome me. I'm me, and i do it what I want. I feel if we have this kind of attitude, maybe god puts things into place. If we do what we are supposed and enjoy life, really enjoy it then things will happen.

NO I haven't been the best looking, the most popular kid, or even the most worthy and positive individual; but I try. I care about people, too much. I enjoy having a good time, and i love the company of people who bring you up, lift your spirits and is never negative and draining. People like that shouldn't be in my life period.
I'm writing this now in my cold and damp apartment feeling that people are people. The people and girls that are always happy and trying to impact my life for the better because they care, are the people I truly and deeply care about... I guess to leave you with one question...

When you wake up in the morning, what kind of thoughts go through your head? How do you see life? half empty or half full?

the picture is a texas sunset in my first area. this is where i grew to look at life half full...

Music is my life. I love every types. I came to this while i was in my humanities, and my professor had put a clip of Mozart on. I realized then how amazing he was. Music is simply the key point of individualism. Music is different to everyone, the person next to you may say well the best music is country, and the person next to me says hey I love Metal. Hey that's cool. what makes you happy rock that. For me I'm a addicted to anything that sounds good. if it sounds good its in my i-pod. if it doesn't well you wont see it on there, that's how I am.

Music is clever. The lyrics, are poetry and very intelligent most of the time. Someone can tell another person his or her feelings about anything through the lyrics. Some people fall in love from music, some people break up from music. Some people get away from the word, just by listening to there favorite tune sitting in there room thinking. Some people take there lives because the influence of it.It changes how we dress, how our personality becomes. It influences our mood, from positive and quirky like a cheerleader, or depressed as a kid with lack of self esteem, but hopefully as that kid listens more, he will change with music. Change, comes about from different music. Kids listen as there mothers sing along in the car, and as kids learn they grow and find their type of music, which then influences them the rest of their life and so on to the children they have. So nonetheless its effected everyone no matter who or what you are.

This is music to me. Its as marijuana to the pot head. A sick muscle car to the red neck. An inhaler to a nerd. A beautiful set of running shoes to the cross country star. Music is the heroine the cherry on top. Its my life. I hope that in heaven music will be played. to help us escape the mistakes of the previous life, like it has done to me in this life.

Now I ask, where would I be with out it? Think about this, take something you absolutely love, desire, cant do without, and now take it away. How do you feel? Helpless? drained? lost? that's how my life would be with out it..

You think, do you know me? probably not

YES YOU KNOW.

crawl out of bed, i can feel the freezing cold in the room, it stings my toes like a bee, as I dress in the dark I think to myself, I should have went to bed earlier, and also where the hell are my shoes. Every morning I wake up thinking about life's notions, why do we do, the the things we do. Is it something that drives us? is there a motivation? or do we merely look at life like a check box and we need to get to the bottom of the list.

I walk to my car its 11 degrees outside, who in there right mind would walk to a car in that weather? so foolish, but drived by excellence and success, I need to, it starts off with that. that's how I will succeed in life. you think you will succeed in life by walking to your car? its little goals, as accomplishing them i will become better, so will you, that is if you want to.

I sip monster on the way to class listening to kid cudi, it calms my nerves and helps my focus on what is real, Yeah people die, yea people are being born. You ask to yourself people? full grown people that will have a full fledge life, or a temporary one, they will be a life for a moment or a lifetime. Its what makes them real. life. what really is it?

I get out of the car, put my buds in and still listening to the modern day bob Marley, I think to myself why did i move here I have to walk across campus and its freezing. Who decided this and why did god decide Utah to have snow and cold in the winter? Focusing on getting to class, I walk, walk faster than i should and start to feel the burn in my calves, but soon they will be numb. The feeling of being numb and absolutely helpless for my calves kinda brings me a sense of satisfaction. due to the problem of absolute carelessness.

I take a test in my gov class, and you are thinking right now, why am i reading this boring biography that this kid wrote about his life. I sit, sit in a hall and as on my mac I watch people walk by, some waddle, some speed walk, and some are barely awake. This is the american dream of individualism. But one thing we all have in common is, the time we need to take and breathe. think.everyone is going so fast focusing on what matters most in there life. They are searching for the pursuit of happiness. what ever is driving them, drugs, sex, money, they are looking to be happy. doesnt matter how old you are, or how overweight or buff you are, you are looking to be happy. instead of focusing on us, we as a people will need to focus on eachother and our neighbors, then we will find the happiness, and the pursuit will be found. now thats my point of view, but what ever makes you happy and sleep well at night do that. Hold to it and dont let anyone come in the way